Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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