He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
