I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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