Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
