Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
