Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
