Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
