I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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