its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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