...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize