So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
