every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
