i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
