I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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