lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
