My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
