I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
