Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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