scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
