these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
