Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
