We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
we're so committed to being not committed
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
