our cab driver is having phone sex.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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