Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
