You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
