Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
