cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i think my cat just said my name.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
