this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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