I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I fill condoms, not promises.
This is my gift to your gina
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
