just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
