Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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