i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
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