Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
