and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
