We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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