I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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