I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
