you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Houston, we have a blender
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
