marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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