I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
