i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
