dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
