I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize