I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
