i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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