She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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