the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's Friday. Sex?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
