I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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