eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
