so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
