i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
