just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
