He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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