On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
