I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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