pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
