girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
