do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
