Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
