We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
