Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
