WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
